Ordering

Daniel loves to order his own food. Obviously this is a reflection of us eating out or hitting driving through windows too often but here are some funny orders.

At the deli in the supermarket he asked the lady "Can I have a strawberry smoothie?"

Also at the deli in a different store "I want a sandwich with meat and chips."

At Smoothie King from the backseat "I want a strawberry smoothie!"

At Wendy's "mom tell them I want chicken wuggets and a smoothie."

To the Costco sample lady "Can I have some more cheese please?"

He ordered last night at Carrabbas "I want a pizza. Pepperoni."

Zipper phone

Daniel got a new pair of jeans, with a zipper fly. I kept seeing him all day play with the zipper, but when he started talking to it I asked:

"What are you doing?"

Daniel "Mom this is my new phone I am calling grandma."

"Of course it is, tell grandma hi."

Daniel "Okay mom, thanks."

Pudding Faces

The night before Thanksgiving, Daniel was eating a pudding and taking "photos" of everyone with his camera phone.

Daniel: Dad turn around and smile.
Dad: Not right now buddy.
Daniel: Hey Dad, Dad, Dad, smile Dad.
Dad: No buddy. Why don't you take a picture of your pudding.
Daniel: I can't, my pudding has no face.

No arguing with that logic.

Steve

[Note: Steve is my boss]

Daniel: Dad can I call Steve?
Jason: Sure thing buddy.
Daniel (Into his fake phone): Hi Steve, how are you? [Lots more random talking]. Thanks. Bye bye.
Daniel (to Mom and Dad): Steve says he loves Daddy!

Guns

Jason was looking at a Cabela's catalogue.

Daniel "When I get big I will need a gun. I will need some money and a black gun. Then I can shoot the animals like the snake under the stairs."

Typical

Jason and I were making a list of chores needing to be done before thanksgiving to which Daniel interjected

"When I get big, like 40, then I can clean the toilets like mom."

Mushrooms for Dessert?

Jason was making dinner and cutting up veggies to go in our stir fry. He mentioned he was cutting up mushrooms to which Daniel responded.....

"Mushrooms? I want a mushroom."

So we go over to the counter and I hand him a mushroom. To which he replied "No a mushroom, they are white. Like Mark's." Totally confused I tell him that mushrooms are white.

Daniel: "No mom white, mushrooms, you eat them after dinner."

Still very puzzled Jason finally turns around and says "Marshmellows!"

Crunchy Table

We told Daniel to go to the table to eat his snack. We had been too busy to clean it off and it was covered in crumbs.

Daniel after seeing the crumbs on the table said "I can't [eat his snack here] the table is crunchy."

Mom "What?"

Daniel "It's crunchy."

Obviously.

Seinfield

We were playing a type of "Do as I'm Doing" and had been doing actions and animals. I asked Daniel what we should be next, to which he clearly stated "Seinfeld."

Goodnight Mom

Dad: Daniel come and give mom a hug and tell her what a good mom she is.
Daniel: Awwww. Goodnight mom. [Kiss Noise]

Where will Travis sleep?

After months of living with friends and family, we finally closed on our house today. After the closing we went to our house and told Daniel we were moving in there on Monday.

Daniel (looking at the rooms): Where will Travis and Lana sleep?
Dad: They will just live at their own house.
Daniel (looking very confused): They can sleep here!
Dad: No only we will live here.

Daniel looks at me like I have no idea what I am talking about, and walks out of the room to find Mom.

Damn Lion

Daniel: I'm going to find a damn lion dad!
Dad: What?
Daniel: A damn lion. I am going to find a damn lion.
Dad: Ok...what are you going to do with it.
Daniel: Blow it into the wind.
Dad: Oh a dandy lion!
Daniel: YEAH!

"Go Dogs Go"

Daniel's favorite book is "Go Dogs Go." There is a page in there that is something like "Wake up dogs the sun is up, now is the time for the dogs to get up." So every morning when he wakes up and also after nap Daniel comes and announces "The sun is up now is the time to get up."

haircut

Yesterday Grandma pulled her hair back into a ponytail and Daniel said:
"Look mom, Grandma got a haircut."

Prayers

Daniel said the prayer at dinner:
"Bless Bob and Abby and Alice and Grandma and Aunt Brittany and Bob.......AMEN."

Alias: Jim

Uncle Bob has been working with Daniel on his fishing name. Jim. So at dinner the other day Bob said "what's your name" and Daniel replied "Daniel, Daniel Webb." Bob said "No it's Jim." Daniel said "only when fishing."

Peee

Daniel: I'm gonna write dad.
(Daniel very carefully makes scribbles on the paper)
Melanie: Good job. How do you spell dad?
Daniel: P. E. E. E.

Knockers

While in Yellowstone, one night after a full day of sight seeing.

Daniel: I need knockers.
Melanie: What honey?
Daniel: I need knockers.
Melanie and Jason: What is that Daniel?
Daniel: I need knockers mom!
Melanie (To Jason): What is he talking about?
Daniel: Aunt Tiffys knockers!
Melanie: Oh! You need Aunt Tiffys binoculars!
Daniel: YEAH!!

These shoes are so cool

Today I bought Daniel some lightening McQueen shoes that light up. He of course threw a massive fit in the store about trying them on and then ran away from me causing me to have a heart attack. We even left and I asked my sister to buy them so I could take my crazy children (both screaming) home. Later he was going outside and we put them on. Daniel looked down at the shoes and said "mom these shoes are so cool, they light up and have cars on them. They are awesome!" Who would have thought?

Goodnight

Daniel was going to bed last night and quietly was saying goodnight to everyone. "Goodnight grandma, goodnight Britty, goodnight mom, goodnight Alvin." Alvin is the dog who apparently needed goodnight wishes as well.

Dirt and Shoes

We were eating breakfast at Grandma's house. Daniel and the rest of us were eating yummy pancakes while Alice was licking this orange ball that I gave to her. After awhile of watching her lick this ball with great enthusiasm I decided to wash it claiming that it "probably tastes really yummy like dirt and shoes." A few minutes later Daniel turned to Grandma and said "Grandma these pancakes are so good. They taste like dirt and shoes." Needless to say we all had a good laugh.

Thank You

Melanie: Daniel you do not hit daddy! What do you need to say to daddy?
Daniel (with enthusiasm): Thank you dad!

Staying Alive

Daniel loves watching shrek. Since he watches it mostly in the car he watches the entire movie, credits and all. At the end of Shrek 1 there is "karaoke" as they call it where they sing like four lines of famous songs. Yesterday Daniel was getting his diaper changed and started singing:

"dance to the music....dance to the music..." and he actually got the tune right.

I was slightly surprised thinking, this song is definitely not on any ipod that I know of. Then he sang:

"stayin' alive, stayin' alive, oh oh oh oh...."

Jason figured it out after he sang one more song that I don't remember that he was singing the condensed version of the songs at the end of Shrek 1. Super funny.

Daniel's Perception on Nursing

So while nursing the baby at the hospital Daniel was slightly freaked out. He commented thus:

Daniel: "Mommy's shirt is broken! Fix it mommy!"

Awhile later he told us:

"Give the baby a bottle don't let him eat your tummy."

Nose blows

Today was just a funny Daniel day. He has been learning new songs and can sing them on his own which is awesome. Today he was rocking in the chair and singing "rock a bye baby."

Daniel:"Rock a bye baby, on the tree top...when the nose blows...baby will drop....breaks baby will fall...down comes baby...and all."

Syrup on the Belly

Today I took Daniel to the doctor. While waiting for the doctor to come in the room we were discussing the parts of the body the doctor was going to look at.

Melanie: "The doctor is going to shine a bright light in your eyes and look in your ears and nose. Where else should the doctor look?"

Daniel: Pulls up his shirt, points to his belly and says "The doctor doctor will put syrup on my belly."

Utterly confused I asked him "What do you mean?"

Daniel:"To hear the baby, need syrup on my belly."

Daniel on cleaning

Melanie: I put all your toys away.
Daniel (Laughing): That's silly!!

Moroni

Daniel loves this huge picture of the Salt Lake Temple that is hanging on the wall right outside his door. He tells us about Moroni and the trumpet that he is holding often and loves to show it to people who come over. Today we had a different Moroni experience.

Daniel climbs on a bucket attempting to get on the couch. Stops and turns to me and says:
"I am on top"
Me:"Yes you are, please don't fall."
Daniel: "I have a trumpet." Cups his fist to his mouth, smiles huge and yells:"do do do do." (Sorry I don't really know how to spell fake trumpet noises.)

Funny Things Daniel Says About the Pregnancy and New Baby

Daniel to mom: Your legs are really big.

Mom: You want to sit in my lap?
Daniel: Nooooooo Your lap is broken.

Daniel pushing on my stomach: Wake up baby.
Then seconds later, rubbing my stomach: Shhh, the baby is sleeping.

Mom: Daniel are you going to share your toys with the new baby?
Daniel: Noooooo
Mom: Can the new baby sleep in the crib?
Daniel: Nooooooo
Mom: Can the new baby watch "Super Why" with you?
Daniel whispers: Yeah

Obviously the one about my brick house foot was the best.
I am sure there are billions more, it is hard to remember after the time is past.

Brick House

Melanie and Daniel are sitting at the kitchen table, Melanie looks at her pregnant swollen feet.

Melanie: My foot looks like a brick...
Daniel (singing): ...house!

Happy Van?

Walking to the car last night'

Daniel: I'm happy!
Melanie: I'm so glad honey, I'm happy too.
Daniel: Daddy is happy a'too.
Melanie: Yes daddy is happy too.
Daniel: That garage is happy. That car is happy.
Melanie: Is out van happy?
Daniel (looking at Melanie like she is stupid): Noooooo!

We tried over and over for the last couple of days, but he holds firm that our van is definitely not happy!

Greece

Conversation over dinner tonight...

Jason: Daniel do you want to move to Greece?
Daniel: YEAH!!!
Jason: What would we do for money? Should we open...
Daniel (Interrupting): ...a present for Daniel!
Jason: [Laughing]
Daniel (Looking around for his toys): I will probably play with it.

Who is Annoying?

Today at lunch, sitting at the table. On the table is a bottle of taco sauce, ketchup and Melanie and Daniel sharing a quesadilla.
Melanie: Daniel you need to eat your quesadilla
Daniel: Mom eating taco sauce
Melanie: that's right, now eat your quesadilla
Daniel: more ketchup
Melanie: you need to eat one bite of quesadilla and then you can have more ketchup
Daniel: No.
He begins to throw pieces of his meal on the table and bang his fork.
Melanie: You are really annoying.
Daniel: Daniel annoyoyoying.
Melanie: Who is annoying?
Daniel: Daniel is annoyoyoying.

Who Dunit

Jason cringing over a very stinky diaper.

Jason: Stinky!
Daniel: [Chuckles].
Jason (Feeling a little faint): Who put this stinky poop in your diaper?
Daniel: Grandma-Sug did.
Jason (Trying not to fall down laughing): How did Grandma-Sug do that?
Daniel: She putit in der.

A Guy

Jason and Daniel get out of car and start walking into post office.

Daniel (pointing at old woman): A GUY!
Jason: No buddy that's a lady.
Daniel (looking suspicious): A Lady....?
Daniel (Coming to his own conclusion): NO! A GUUY!